The Many Faces of Dustin Stanley

  • By Donna Hockman

The media, family, friends, & prosecution portrayed Dustin Stanley as a devoted father of 2 boys and twin girls. A man who always put others before himself. A loving Son, Brother, Uncle. A young man with a future ahead of him and an all around “good guy”. It only makes sense he would be made out to be all of the above. His family and friends are grieving the loss of a loved one. As I can certainly understand their pain and anger at me for this tragedy, I also feel an obligation to Dustin Stanley’s other victims to voice their pain and expose the “Real Truth” about who Dustin Stanley really was.

First, let me begin by saying to all of the women who have had any type of relationship with Dustin Stanley and eventually became entangled in his web of deceit, you are not alone! I have had the opportunity to speak with many of you and I want to encourage you and others to reach out and tell your experiences on this website. YOU DO NOT NEED TO IDENTIFY YOURSELF. I am going to tell you about the Dustin Stanley I got to know during my 6-month relationship with him.

I met Dustin Stanley on February 9, 2008. In April 2008 I found documents stating Dustin was a confidential informant for the ATF. I called a friend to get advice about what I should do. I confronted Dustin and tried to end the relationship to no avail. My knowledge of his CI status began the nightmare that tragically ended on June 25, 2008. When I met Dustin he came across gentle, charming, romantic and loving. I was given no indication he was deceiving me. It was not until after my arrest I found out that Dustin was behind on child support for all four of his children. Then abuse became more aggressive and frequent. He began to control my movement and call me repeatedly with one question he always asked, “Where are you?” Dustin made it very clear I would only leave him in a body bag. He began to get into altercations with my friends because they confronted him about the bruises, black eyes, cuts, and scrapes appearing on my body. He would curse at them and tell them to mind their own business. He sent text messages to my friends stating that he knew where they slept. I broke ties with a lot of my friends to protect them.

Some of you may be asking where were my children? I had just moved to Harrisonburg from Mt. Jackson. There were a few months left in the school year and my kids and I decided they would finish the year out in their old schools. My daughter was staying with a close friend of mine throughout the week. My son was back and forth between myself and his dad. As I pulled away from my friends, I began to pull away from Dustin too. His anger and violence took its toll when he started threatening the four most important parts of my life, my kids, and my dogs. Dustin was savvy in hunting knives and guns. I tried again to end our relationship. He told me “if you leave me I will gut your dogs like deer”. I was trapped.

Many of you might ask “Why didn’t you call the police?”

On June 21st I’d had enough of the abuse and I called the police. I had been out hours before with a few friends, the ones I hadn’t pushed away.Dustin had been out with his mother and her friends. He called my cell phone repeatedly but I did not answer. When I arrived home I approached the den to release my two dogs from behind doggie gate. Dustin had broken into my home and was hiding in the dark. He shoved me onto the couch and put his hands around my neck. One of my dogs, Midnite, jumped the gate and bit Dustin in the face. He punched her and she whimpered and fell to the floor. I was so angry I punched him in the face. (That was the only and last time I fought back, as the consequences of my actions had serious repercussions.) My dogs are like my kids and I dislike people who abuse kids and animals. Dustin kept watching over me throughout the night and next day. He somehow figured out my password to gain access to my voicemail. He tormented me and cursed me for hours. I was physically and emotionally drained. I truly felt I was going to be killed. As evening approached Dustin left the bedroom and I ran to the kitchen and retrieved my cell phone and keys and ran to the garage, got in my car, and started to back out when he threw a cordless phone at my car door, denting it. He then rushed me, opened my door. He jerked me out of the car and dragged me back into the house. He grabbed a phone cord and wrapped it around my neck smiling and spitting on me. His eyes looked hollow and black as I begged him to let me go. I said “I love you Dustin”, he released his grip and I ran out the door from the bedroom and ran back to my car where the door was still open and grabbed my cell phone. I ran up the road while calling 911 and asking them to arrest Dustin. It took the officer 17 minutes to arrive. Upon the officer’s arrival, I showed him my torn clothes, 5” abrasion around my neck, my damaged home & vehicle with a fresh dent in the door. Dustin admitted no wrongdoing and apparently scratched his chest before talking to the officer and claimed that I had done it to him. Dustin’s mom arrived after he called her to come get him. I filed a “no trespass” and the officer did not arrest him. As Dustin and his mom left my home I watched him look to his mom and say “Mom, I really love her.” In my mind, I felt he was not arrested due to him being a confidential informant. I really thought it was over. Wrong!

On the morning of June 22nd, two of Dustin’s friends showed up at my home to pick up my stove I brought from my other home that they claimed they paid Dustin for. I told them I was told nothing about it and that I had served a “no trespass” on Dustin. It was after that I showed them all the bruises and marks on my arms, legs, and neck. I also told them Dustin was a CI. Dustin’s threats did not stop and I was determined to keep my distance. Only those who have been where I’ve been can truly understand what Dustin Stanley was capable of. If anyone reading this was ever abused by Dustin, I would implore you to tell your story and I’m sure our visitors would too.